Five reasons you probably don’t need a Computer

24 July, 2009, 2:34 pm

Everybody has a Computer!  Right?  If you don’t then, well, let’s just say welcome to the 21st century, Archie Bunker.

However, there are some people who probably don’t need one.  Here are a few reasons you might not need one.

1 – If you believe everything you read, you probably don’t need a computer.

Let me break it down for you.  Ever since Gutenburg created the printing press, morons have been able to disseminate information rapidly.  I could point to examples, but it would pretty much offend everyone.  Because you all have certain news outlets that you like.  They are all liars.  Most things in print are created by people with a bias in one direction or another.

The internet made it even worse.  Why? Because any yahoo could create a password and start spewing out idiocy.

You doubt me?  I won’t link to them, but try out a search for “American Nazi” or even “Earn Money online” if you would like to see the spewing forth of the fingers of morons.

If that fails, try a search for “fox.”

2 – If you think whatever Twitter is, it might be illegal in some states, you probably don’t need a computer.

Oh My Gosh!  Twitter has taken off in the last year.  I realize that with the way things change, by the time I hit publish, twitter could be irrelevant, but right now it is the thing.  And so many people don’t have a clue what it is, or why they need to use it!

Ok let me break it down like this.  If you would like to keep in touch with anyone, or expand your reach beyond your own nose, you need twitter.

I just walked into a restaurant in a brand new town and shook hands with the owner of cosmic kitchen because I follow their account on twitter.  I felt like I knew the guy.  Instant connection.

If you would like that or if you think it might be beneficial to your business, how about get on board and figure it out.

You can read more about twitter if it helps.

3 – If you didn’t know google was a verb, you probably don’t need a computer.

Yes, I realize that Google is the large multi-national corporation that runs the world in every futuristic movie ever made.  (Really it is… you wait… and now it’s in print).  But for now, it is incredibly useful.

Still wonder what twitter is for?  Why not type in “what is twitter for” in google.  That is called googling.  It can answer most of your questions.

4 – If you really believe you can protect your Privacy, you probably don’t need a computer.

If I had a nickel for everyone who asked me if it was really safe to reveal your identity online, I would buy an island and retire.  Of course its not safe! But it doesn’t matter.

Your information is connected to servers all over the world.  Some fake prince in Nigeria is probably checking your credit right now.

I got an email as I was writing this from Land of Nod.  They said they had some nice new gifts for my brand new baby.  Let me ask you something?  Do you think I told them I was having a baby? NO!  They got it from some marketing list someplace, probably sold to them by the hospital my little girl was born in.  Privacy is dead.

By the way, smile every time you pass a stop light.

5 – If you spell website with a “gh,” you probably don’t need a computer.

I mean, I honestly just don’t know what else to say about that.  Web Sight? …  really?

So If any of these points apply to you, how about do me a favor and ship your PC to me.  I will be happy to take it off your hands.

Seriously though, if you have problems or are learning about these things, refer to point three above and go google it.

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